Women can be weird (we know, having been some of the weirdest of them all). Though this is our body, our lives, and basically, our battle with the double fudge frosting, at the back of our minds, we’re doing it for somebody else. To get their approval. To somehow, become “good enough for them.”

“Maybe if I lose weight, I can get a decent boyfriend.”
“I don’t want to be the fattest girl in the wedding entourage.”
“Once my ex-boyfriend sees me, he’ll regret dumping me for that girl!”

My friend, it’s not about them. It’s about you. You’re doing this for yourself, not for them, and what they think is just the (sugarfree) icing on the cake.

What difference does it make who you’re doing it for? >

Simple: You don’t need to get their approval to get you moving. You aren’t relying on the anger, frustration, jealousy or shame to fuel your efforts.You have no control over other people, and you don’t need negative energy to drain you and make you feel bad about yourself.

Diets that make you feel bad don’t work because you end up hating what you’re doing.

What you can do:

• If being mad helps you start a diet, then good. But being happy will help you keep to it. Make a list of all the positive things that it’s doing for you. Make it concrete: “I smile when I look in the mirror” or “I feel more energetic.”
• Don’t attach your goals to people or situations outside of yourself. Instead of “I want to be the sexiest girl in my high school reunion” make it “I want to wear the clothes I really like.”
• Stop caring about what other people think. Yes, easier said than done, but it starts with complimenting yourself rather than waiting for their reaction. For example, instead of asking your boyfriend if he likes your body, treat yourself to a gorgeous dress even if (gasp!) it isn’t on sale.
• Focus on the fun of the moment. If you’re doing it for somebody else, chances are you’re playing a movie in your head of what they’ll say and do once they see the new you. Instead, look at what you like about yourself right now. Is it how sexy you feel when you wear shake your booty in your belly dancing class? Is it the pride you feel when you say no to a slice of cake?

However, it might also be that your diet simply was scam.